Online dating is no longer the domain of spotty computer geeks and the socially inept. In fact, it’s a powerful tool in the dating tool belt, and is considered essential for most single guys. If you don't know much about the phenomenon of internet dating, it's high time you did!
The fine art of seduction took an interesting turn with the advent of the internet and online dating. An entirely new set of skills developed around seducing women online and through internet personals. But what happens after the girl falls for her Digital Romeo? The first date after meeting online is very different from the often-compared "blind date" and is completely different from a traditional first date.
The reason for this discrepancy comes from the different elements of your date's personality that you are familiar with. A traditional first date comes after you have already met someone -whether in a bar, at work, or at your favorite record store. This means that you probably know very little about them personally, but have something in common from the start. A blind date means that you know even less about someone, but you have the benefit of a mutual friend, and the possibility - no matter how remote - that your friend was correctly confident in making the match. This almost is never the case.
But somewhere in between is the first online date. This brings together two people that know an unusual amount about each other for having never actually met, and the elements of the personality that have been shared are relatively deep. Online relationships often provide a venue for sharing the most intimate secrets while never actually having the benefit of the simplistic or cursory introduction. For example, you may know about the death of your date's childhood pet, but not actually know what her voice sounds like. This reversal of what used to be the standard order of events in meeting someone has played havoc with techniques of seduction.
In many ways, this should make things easier. You know have an insight into your dates personality and psyche that can allow you to pull their heartstrings and tickle their funny bone, but you also will have to work twice as hard to make a good impression physically. This can really put a quick end to an otherwise good date. All of the quick wit and great humor you can muster won't save you from your date's assumption that you are dishonest, manipulative, and a little unattractive; when she sees that the photo you posted with your profile doesn't look anything like you. With this in mind, by showing her a photo that looks like you from the beginning, you actually have a chance to win her over with your personality during the lead up to the first date. The balance is delicate, and critical.
Imagine the same scenario reversed. You like everything you know about this girl - her personality, sense of humor, beliefs and values. You have also built up an image of her in your mind's eye based on the photograph you saw on her profile. Now imagine meeting for the first time, and she looks nothing like her photo. Imagine that she's a little older and quite a bit heavier. No matter how much you liked her personality, you will feel an inevitable sense of disappointment. That sense of disappointment will taint the entire date. Maybe if you would have known what she actually looked like and not been surprised by the revelation, you could have focused on her great personality, but it's already too late. This is exactly the same situation with your date, and it will have exactly the same result.
You have to be aware that good looks and pickup lines, and all the other main staples of regular seduction, simply don't cut it with dates that originated online. In many ways, the physical becomes even more important, but on top of that, you have to work hard to display all of the personality attributes that your date came to know and admire before you actually met.
The fine art of seduction took an interesting turn with the advent of the internet and online dating. An entirely new set of skills developed around seducing women online and through internet personals. But what happens after the girl falls for her Digital Romeo? The first date after meeting online is very different from the often-compared "blind date" and is completely different from a traditional first date.
The reason for this discrepancy comes from the different elements of your date's personality that you are familiar with. A traditional first date comes after you have already met someone -whether in a bar, at work, or at your favorite record store. This means that you probably know very little about them personally, but have something in common from the start. A blind date means that you know even less about someone, but you have the benefit of a mutual friend, and the possibility - no matter how remote - that your friend was correctly confident in making the match. This almost is never the case.
But somewhere in between is the first online date. This brings together two people that know an unusual amount about each other for having never actually met, and the elements of the personality that have been shared are relatively deep. Online relationships often provide a venue for sharing the most intimate secrets while never actually having the benefit of the simplistic or cursory introduction. For example, you may know about the death of your date's childhood pet, but not actually know what her voice sounds like. This reversal of what used to be the standard order of events in meeting someone has played havoc with techniques of seduction.
In many ways, this should make things easier. You know have an insight into your dates personality and psyche that can allow you to pull their heartstrings and tickle their funny bone, but you also will have to work twice as hard to make a good impression physically. This can really put a quick end to an otherwise good date. All of the quick wit and great humor you can muster won't save you from your date's assumption that you are dishonest, manipulative, and a little unattractive; when she sees that the photo you posted with your profile doesn't look anything like you. With this in mind, by showing her a photo that looks like you from the beginning, you actually have a chance to win her over with your personality during the lead up to the first date. The balance is delicate, and critical.
Imagine the same scenario reversed. You like everything you know about this girl - her personality, sense of humor, beliefs and values. You have also built up an image of her in your mind's eye based on the photograph you saw on her profile. Now imagine meeting for the first time, and she looks nothing like her photo. Imagine that she's a little older and quite a bit heavier. No matter how much you liked her personality, you will feel an inevitable sense of disappointment. That sense of disappointment will taint the entire date. Maybe if you would have known what she actually looked like and not been surprised by the revelation, you could have focused on her great personality, but it's already too late. This is exactly the same situation with your date, and it will have exactly the same result.
You have to be aware that good looks and pickup lines, and all the other main staples of regular seduction, simply don't cut it with dates that originated online. In many ways, the physical becomes even more important, but on top of that, you have to work hard to display all of the personality attributes that your date came to know and admire before you actually met.
No comments:
Post a Comment