Dating Realities

I firmly believe that there are HUGE differences between our beliefs and what REALITY really shows.

I am not just talking about the differences between our "ideal world" and "reality". (Example: In the ideal world, everybody will eventually see what a wonderful guy you are. In the real world, nobody really cares.) I am talking about how our PERSONAL BELIEFS and OPINIONS may NOT actually reflect reality.

When I started getting into this dating game, I interviewed a lot of female friends and asked them what they want.

Oh boy. What a mistake.

The typical answers were answers such as...

"Somebody nice."

"Somebody funny."

"A guy who is not a pig."

"A guy who will be good to me."

So there I was, a guy who was trying to be "nice", "funny", "not a pig", and "good to women."

And guess what? I was every girl's best friend, but not their boyfriend.

It took me a good year to figure out that there is a HUGE difference between what women SAY they want and what they REALLY want.

Just because a woman "thinks" she prefers dark-haired, well-built man doesn't mean she won't respond to a blond-haired man with a KILLER PERSONALITY.

Just because a woman "says" she'd never kiss a guy on a first date doesn't mean she won't ever do it.

Just because a woman "says" she wants a nice, funny guy who's "not a pig" doesn't mean she will start dating her best friend.

Interesting concept, eh? Well, guess what? It works the "other way" too.

When you think, "Women are only attracted to jerks and that's why I never get laid", it may not reflect reality.

When you think, "I will never get laid because I am ugly", you're stopping yourself from success because you're neglecting the fact that women also care about your dating skills and personality. (In the real world, women care about the CUMULATIVE SCORE)

When you think, "My best friend gets laid a lot because he is an athlete," it doesn't really help you because the REALITY may be that your best friend is really just a VERY GOOD FLIRT.

In short, your own opinion of what "should" or "shouldn't" work could SEVERELY mess up your love life.

This is what I mean when I say I have based my Smart Dating Course on "reality" instead of on opinions and theory. Instead of thinking, "Hmm. I think women prefer jerks because that's what everybody says," I went out and OBSERVED people. I OBSERVED how the best "players" in the fields got women, and I tried to duplicate their success by imitating what they were doing - until I knew enough to compile everything into my own "model" which eventually became the Smart Dating system.

It took me a few years of time to finally "get it", and to have total confidence that I could go out and meet women, anywhere, anytime. But if I hadn't started observing REALITY instead of relying on my own opinions and old beliefs, I would probably still be a "shy" guy today.

I am not kidding. Take a look around you and look at how many men there are out there that are in their 30's or 40's and are still very unsuccessful with women. These guys never "got it". I am glad I did. And you should be glad you're going to get it too.

Here's the exercise for today. I want you to think of a guy you know who's VERY good with women. I want you to write down TEN things about him that you think are getting him women. Then look for the thing that is easiest for you to imitate and start doing it RIGHT AWAY. Model his success!

Source: http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com/ebook.html